Can we discuss the “A” word for a moment? And no, I don’t mean that word – I mean “adult.” Adulting sucks. I suck at being an adult…
I eat most things out of a bowl…with a spoon. I fail at meal planning most weeks. My nightly dinner is usually spaghetti or a bean and cheese burrito. Who am I kidding? It’s usually just cold spaghetti sauce in a bowl. I set fifteen alarms each night and sleep until the absolute last minute and then proceed to hit snooze 10 more times. I avoid buying clothes that require ironing and rarely plan my outfit for the next day.
Unless you happen to be my kind, sweet, and patient roommate, I have the rest of the world fooled into believing I am a highly functioning adult human who has it (whatever IT is) figured out.
Looks really are deceiving…
Faking It Like a Boss
So how do I do it? And if you find yourself in the same predicament, how can you do it?
1. For starters, invest in a few non-Ikea essential furniture pieces.
Don’t get me wrong here, I love Ikea as much as the next person (can I get a hallelujah for those meatballs??) but this step is very important in your quest to fool everyone into believing that you are a bona fide a-d-u-l-t. Ikea furniture is stiff and not always the best quality. You can find great deals by shopping around, saving a bit of money and investing in a few quality pieces. Try purchasing a couch and coffee table first.
2. Adorn your lovely, new, non-Ikea couch with a few accent pillows.
To get really jazzy, spice things up with a mixture of patterns and colors. And while you’re at it, take down those posters you’ve had on the wall since college, and replace them with some killer art pieces. You don’t have to invest a lot in art, try checking out Home Goods, At Home, or better yet, make your own DIY art!
3. Start keeping a grocery list.
I love keeping a grocery list on my fridge door. I mean, come on; if that isn’t the most grown-up thing to do, than I don’t know what is. Add adult staples to this list: toilet paper, dish soap, brussel sprouts…you get the idea. People will instantly think you are organized and on point. Little do they know…
4. Learn to cook one amazing dish that isn’t mac and cheese or hotdogs.
If you’re going to fool someone into thinking you are an adult, then this is a must. One word: PINTEREST. Trust me, Pinterest will be your best friend. Look, this doesn’t have to be the fanciest of fancy meals, but try to attempt cooking something more than spaghetti. Check out these super easy, yet delish, dishes:
Oh, and a little tip to kick things up a bit more, buy a crockpot. Best invention EVER. All you have to do is throw it in one pot and call it good. A real lifesaver.
5. Learn a thing or two about wine.
I admit, I’m not much of a wine drinker. But it seems like it’s definitely the “adult” thing to do. I fake it by learning a few common wine names – just in case.
Repeat after me:
Sauvignon Blanc (So-vee-nyon Blah),
And for the kicker: Gewürztraminer (Gah-vurtz-tra-meener) which pairs quite nicely with Asian food and pork… or so I’ve read.
6. Add a little bit of greenery to your home.
Make sure to choose a hearty plant that can sustain long time frames without water, because let’s face it, we’ll probably forget to water it. Better yet, maybe a fake plant would be more appropriate. All you have to do is dust it. If you want to try out your green thumb, stick with succulents; they tend to fare well in drier conditions and I’ve heard they actually thrive on neglect.
And finally, I guarantee this final trick will make others think you are an adult, and better yet, will make you feel like you have got it together…
7. Send thank you notes when receiving a gift.
Pick out some cute stationary and make a note in your calendar for a few days after Christmas and your birthday to write out thank you notes. Not only is being gracious a mark of a true adult, it is the signature of someone who if grateful for the people who support them while struggling to get their shit together.